Fragments from an Unknown State

One night I awoke between sleep and a dream. An old voice spoke in an ancient melody. It felt as though time was receding to it's source. The voice rang out in a rhythm and chorus. Hear this! it pronounced and I bounced back to spaces that in comparison were quite tasteless. I slept for a second and then left it behind. Was it a choice that I made or one of my mind? This time clearer it came as the rain in the chasm of canyons. Echoing out I honed in to fathom. Infinite love and a peace that's unseen were some of the things this voice showed to me... I awoke the next morning broken and mourning for I felt myself no longer at home. I was lying in my own bed and wondering for what walls existed. What do we keep out and what is beyond beyond beyond that bad taste in our mouths. Perhaps the WHOLE of creation perhaps nothing but, I have to find out. Could it be that fleeting freedom that is now a memory. That song of magnificence is now an old crusted tune. O spare me the heartache but my heart is no longer well, I am in agony. Blistering pain!! May that common connectedness visit this miserly man once more.

Learn to Freestyle

Rapping has always been a joy for me, I have been rapping for a long time and some say "I got flow" so? what would they know??
Just kidding.
Since I've found joy in rapping I've tried to spread the fever to others, and I'd say that I'm let down at the inability of people to step into harmonic lyricism. Timid and unsure they say "I can't rap" then I would say something like "if you can talk you can sing, if you can walk you can dance" and again they would hit me with "I can't rap" Its nothing really, easy as pie, a little momentum and energy put into it and all of the sudden your mind is feeding you all your thoughts backwards.

You might say this is how you learn to rap, continuous effort. You get 2 or 3 thoughts mixed and mashed up and it sputters out, but the thing is that harmony comes with adjustment and adaption to these "undesirable conditions" just forgive yourself and keep hammering that nail, you will be shredding the mic son!!

What is rapping to me? Rapping is self expression, rapping is a form of communication, and sometimes this form is more versatile for getting thoughts across, like poetry or painting, like star gazing or running in the rain, party go-ing. A certain taste and flavor that can add some spices to life is what rap is. I don't know if you know this but they call a circle of lyricists a "cypher" and indeed rapping works this way. It siphons your emotion, your vision, you grit and filth, your ecstasys and it pools in into a river that onlookers call "flow". Of course the rappers know not only the word but that experience of being one with the flow. That rapper is you next time you are asked to drop a line, a thought, just go for it cousin!! Something like...
Busy as a beaver
I guess I'm a... believer
Okay your friend will take over from there but next time it comes to you your ready like...
Blue unto the White
Its the rapid raw insight, that'll take you where you like for a jimmy and a light!
Okay okay, your warm but don't get cocky!!

I'm just messing with y'all its just an open poetry this post.

Weekend Experiences

Here is a post that is somewhat normal, no poetry, no direction, just telling you of the things going on in my life. We can all agree to this right? Okay then lets continue. Currently I am working on the late assignments for my English class, the very last credit necessary for my graduation. Graduation is coming and I am feeling strange, I have changed much throughout the year and have no idea what is in store for my future. Since the weather is nice and I have a sum of money saved I may leave home to travel. It will be a big challenge for me but Im starting to feel more assured that this is what I'll do.

Yesterday I left home temporarily, too much time there is suffocating, on my skateboard and traveled around Woodbury. I was pretty steamed but I wound up on a forest path between neighborhoods, there is some very nice nature in Woodbury between the streets and buildings. I sat there breathing, listening to the traffic in the distance and it wasn't long before I felt better. Continued towards the library letting off an olly or 180 on occasion and finally headed home. Since there was nothing for me to do there I decided to go to the school dance, and I'll say that I'm glad I did.

I usually have fun dancing and last night was no exception.I defiantly toned it down around others (at times) and I didn't spend all my energy in the first twenty minutes. A big thanks to everyone dancing and allowing themselves a good time. My favorite song was probably "party like a rock star", during this I had a big open space and was dancing as though I had drank a bottle rum. hahaha, a madman. I didnt come with a group to bunch into and was getting tired of dancing alone when a girl asked if I wanted to dance. We spent some time together and she turned out to be very sweet. Alot of silent communication which is cool for a change. Looks as though its that time again to leave this house and get to an early grad party. Sorry Mom and Dad but I promise to finish this paper by the weekends end. As for you reader, be happy and know that I'm smiling with you. Okay. Alright. Bye bye.

One Sad Song

So easy to listen to, understand, comprehend
Most comatose, I'm poetic with the pen
It depends, whats your aim?
Cmon man, lets just get outta here...

When the coast is clear be cautious
Talk much but its just that shrouded
Pure intentions get clouded
What is known gets doubted
Yet my feet stay grounded...

So maybe it's best, that life is a test
And the ones that progress, die to past success
Livers, Diers, Seekers, Liars
Tread each path like a fresh pair of tires
And I'm tired...

Don't hold me close, I'll fail every expectation
They wish for this but I go and do that
It's not easy for us either, but the flames get higher
Always seems like whats maimed gets dryer
Like hey, understand I've wept a silent tear too
Sorrow runs deep and I can't steer through
We need each other, you reach out to me
I reach out to you
No that wont do.
Life is more than that, life is so much realer
We never feel whats real theres so many dope dealers
The drugs are varied yet one in the same
Surviving on fear and conniving your pain

Wish I had a plane, Wish I had a plan...

Spending time alone is what make this man
But just take this man, and just break this man
Sometimes I just straight hate this man
But each storm will settle like so many else do
Life is never easy but we find our way through
And with each day lived, through each lifetime
We're finding the strength, that unknown lifeline

Peace & Love

On Wholesome Goodness

Your divine, purifying my inside
They call it love, but they must have died
Because they stopped at love & Im still finding
Im still flying, not only that but I'm crying
Out of the tender beauty that is you, without you I wouldn't know what to do
Your the only realness that is realer than real, your always on my mind, always
Most stay with the clouds with silver linings, enjoying that ride
But for you those clouds were nothing I had to break through them and feel the light of the sun
And how sweet it is
My only want left is be with you, to know you, to die in you
You can rob me blind I won't even flinch, I don't ask a thing of you because I am your shadow
To come home to you is all I want, to be free of this luggage I have been carrying for all this damned time
I feel you right now, see you right now and you are so alive
Making me an artist just being with you, every action from you is flawless, the most beutifull
You make the most divine poem what it is
I might write about you, speak about you, but just a fool flapping his tounge because you are unexpressable
Making me a madman, mad with this exploding love

Bringing Laughter Back

I have heard that laughter is the best medicine. This complements my observation that being serious is the worst diesease. I associate being serious with being tense, expectatious, asumptious, and easily slipping into problem seeking. While non-seriousness exhibits the qualities of playfullness, light heartedness, experimentation, and gives a sense of openness and space in ourselves that keeps us from reacting to things but rather responding to them. What are the things we are most serious about... I wont start with the big taboos, like sex or... oh no, relationship :D---8 Blahhh. Thats okay ill feel better soon. Some sit on feelings of anger, depression, sorrow, I believe with a little non-seriousness, a little expression these things are hardly even temporary. Even things like the mourning process, which i recently experienced, although painful, is fleeting when its not taken as "serious" or "permanent" a good cry, and a let go will help. And in doing this with my own feelings I was taken deep into the process and glimpsed at death and felt it fully, and experienced it in myself. The fleeting nature of everything, it was very hard to bear... but beautifull because it opened my heart seeing deeply with all my guts that the things around me come and go. Just yesterday I was working with music and after some time began to feel bored. "Can I find something valuble in this?", I know its not permanent, if i keep digging I will find its end. So I put on another beat and started groaning in agony, moaning about how time was moving soo slowww, and how nothing can fill this immense gap of boredom. I went into it deeply , and in this way I found the end of it, the light at the end of the tunnel, and I was so suprised, because my boredom soon became uproarous laughter, I was laughing my ass off!! Ill post my track it is pretty damn funny! Anyways encouraging to find this little jewel in yourself, that these "things" that we go through are very temporary and fleeting when you dont take them as permanent or reinforce them by creating your self around them. Not every experience we have is a joy, a bliss, no im not saying that. But things like anger, boredom, sadness, happiness, jealousy can become quite fun when you allow yourself to go into them , find ways to express them, and even learn to express them beatifully :). These negative things you encounter can be turned into creative energies.Just a little courage, trust, to experiment. Some laughter and non-seriouness with these things. But it is up to you, how daring are you? How willing are you to surrender these experiences, and empty yourself? How willing are you to exhaust your joys, sufferings, strengths and weaknesses?

The man you see next to me in my picture is an old poet named Khalil Gibran
He writes these beatifull lines-

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.


He is speaking about living totally, not picking and choosing, but using all and everything. Far out am I right? Okay I am filled with energy and further intention to write but will lay this posting to rest

Peace my readers and fellow beings

You Are Vermin

You slimy dirty thing, yes you recognize when I say it
Be very afraid because the boogy man is coming to get you, he always does
Not from under your bed, but from within you, how will you escape this?
HAHAHAHA
I am talking about the ego, YOUR EGO :O , yes it will eventually have to be stricken down and killed,
and it will need to be beaten with a stick many times before dieing. It is the ego in you that is afraid, always. It is afraid of the shiftless sands (the shiftless YOU), it cannot survive your glance. And it is always shaking. When you will become aware of it in yourself, when you just look at it, it is already starting to disappear. But wait, it begins to tell you great things, "no please! you have so much to live for, don't look at me! go and watch tv! chase woman! play guitar! MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR MOM!!" these are its very words. It will pull out all of its weapons, but this time you are not tricked, you dont even fight, you just watch it, listen to it, even laugh at it. It is afraid of you very much, your ego cannot survive in your presence. You are the boogy man! And it will not be long after looking at it to realize that you are tired of playing games FOR it. Its promises wont please you.

If I am not this ego, these strivings, desires, feelings, thoughts, ideas, than who am I?!? who the hell am I??

Eradicate Self Divine

Temptress worthy to seek and receive me
Send this out from this heart that is seething
Precious is the pressure like a young baby teething

Should I add a picture , Should I sign my name
Poetic4existence is chilling in the rain
find me going up and out in and in staying inn
And the comfort is wonderful status quo sufficient
If you are in the world that I desire to leave in imprint
Im sending this to those who are willing to be free
And laugh a laugh dance a dance spend awhile with me
Im just a humble presence that is wishing you the best
Ill try to give you the best that I get, legit!
These crummy rhymes are just to transmit my thoughts
Your self is in my thoughts,, but not the one that you've bought