One soilders plight in the vileness of war

Trails of spilt paint
panting for their last breath
dying with their eyes closed
their mind froze, their soul gone

A fate that could have been my own
if not for the saving hand of grace
and stepping stones, and hard work
A major decision and these strong strides

kill a man and reep the bounty of death
there is nothing but ash in vengeance
nothing but stale and bitter oil
in the spilt blood of a comrade

So we press on, through storm
we let the mud lay our feet down
so weary from the known path
so endless.. this futile dream
each effort a snare, each motive snake
following the man in the army jacket
whose voice has grown raspy with command
unapologeticly refusing surrender

there is something in his will
that whisks a mere footsoilder like myself
onward
something about this place we tread
it is so familiar to me
yes it's my childhood memoir
my recaptured armmegedeon

what will be the fate of this man
how I wonder with eyes stuck
to the back of my skull
and where will the enemy strike
what will he look like?
The eyes that prey in the shadows.
wide and daringly alert

I sense danger I feel the spray of the fog upon my neck and it drips from my helmet
not knowing my outcome keeps me from sleeping, from rest
how is it that one cosmos, one planet, one soilder, can bear such ultimate significance
how can the end of myself.. possibly mark the end.. of all this?

....

Stretch my Soul

I stretch my soul out
so when I roll out
I wont leave without a trace
frigid with the sword tucked

no limit with the luck box
you kumquats mugshots
feel the fist of faith
and it's coming like a criss
cross

I've endured alot of things
my soul dont long for safety
it rumbles in the jungle
while emancipating slavery

The type of truth that made me?
It's something your not used to
sacrifice and holy rights
an avalanche of blues clues

I'm not self indeared
To succumbing to the fear
I've died so many deaths
by the rifle and the spear

I continue cause I'm meant too
I'm the soul whose sent you
mellenium of ash and blood
but still this month the rents due

A proper form of payment
while I find my placement
sleeping in the sand dunes
the vacuum of foreign spaces

To star dust we are, and so we will return
I stretch the fiber of my souls susseptable to burn
when will the pacifiers learn, that you've gotta take your turn
I spin upon a spoke it's my novelty insured

I speak in every word from an element that's rich
I stretch my soul just like my hand to brothers in the ditch
The mire, and the muck, the grogginess and grit
I stretch my soul out to the point I dont exist!

New Levels of Self Care

Under the weather this morning.. :/
You know in life there are areas in which people are further along than me, there are also those who are younger and less equipped. I realize the path I walk is well worn. I also feel like In spite of this, there is something in me that is completely unique, and immeasurable by these standards of progress. It is so special and unique, and I just keep loving my experience, myself, and those around me in order to uncover more of it.. it has a gravity, it pulls me in.. it restores my faith, soothes my pain.. it is truly special.

That is why I am so upset when people judge others, hurt others, and seek to destroy others. It is really just our sickness lying to us. "you cant do it" it says. Looking at your fear and pain is tells us "this is who you are."

Well I for one think it is time.. time to question.. time to leave the realm of public opinion and fall back on myself.. completely.

We remain conflicted because we have lost our self identity. We remain drifting because we dont know what is right for our needs and lives.. Remember who you are.. start mining the memory banks.. start experiencing fully what life is telling you. Just try it.. you might fall, but get back up cause this is YOUR journey and noone elses. And your not gonna get to the good parts of it by avoiding what God has put inside your heart.. to do, feel, think, experience.. we have a compass. ya dig.

Okay I could go on and on.. but this rant is drawing long. Be well today EVERYONE!

Sister

You get angry at me,
and in a whirlwind of emotion
slam the door.. shutting me out
Jesus.. he is too loud, too angry, too out of control
I want what is best for him, but he is not kind
He is hard to be around.. he doesn't see much
You cry in your room, and feel misunderstood
you lose yourself In your studies
you drive and strive.. to be better

Sister I'm just leaning upside your door, with my back turned to it.
Wishing we could connect again
Thinking of what we went through
THinking hard on how I forgot..
forgot you need me to be strong..
forgot you need me to be gentle..
and uplift you..

Your doing a great job.
You've grown into a beautiful woman
You've become more than this brother could expect.. you set your path.. you worked hard

Sister I just want you to know the depth of my remorse and forgetfulness... I too have cried and become calause. Forgive me, I lost my way.

I hope we can talk again sometime.
I hope we can be receptive to each other
I vow not to become so blind again
I am learning.
I miss you, you are dear to me.

your brother cares about you.

Sincerly,
Matthew.

The Realm of the Dervish

I whirl, I whirl
I forego the world
In serendipity, the sweetest
behavior..
there is nothing to chain
no pole, rope, or snake
I spin and I spin
with a shit eating grin

The world at large is the tip of a pencil
A penny in the bank account
of the wealthiest man
My spirit is one of freedom
Air, love, laughter and dance

Assume the stance, for the avalanche
The spinning stops
The flow ebbs and rocks
It shows me things
And grows my wings
My vision pure, my will at work
The beauty clear and part of me

Whenever I enter into the graveyards
The dead areas of my mind
I will prance, stomp upon the ground
Until new blades of grass
Pop from the settled Earth

Now I lay down to bed
full of sway and element
I float like a feather
On the wings of prayer
drifting back
into decades rest

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You

Amen.

For my friend, Jeffrey

Praying for you unceasingly.. Jeffery.
 That all is well..
 that you have healed and are full
That the fear is gone and death defeated

Where ever you may be, or find yourself
You have a friend in me brother
Your presence here is missed
 But it would be not like you
 To not decorate and enhance
 Your new enviornment, and splash color
On an empty canvas

 Thanks for getting to know me
 For believing in me, and having trust
The day you passed was a sad one
And I am sorry if I wronged you

The forests on Neptune must be quite the spectacle
My blue bro.. I hope you are resting there Under the shade of a tree, to your hearts content
 I miss you Jeff.

Much love from an old friend
- Matthew

Absolute Beauties (for the dreamer in me)

I'm just talking to my diary

Man, what a tremulous, tremendous, and fully full day..

God works so hard for us. But it is already so. Personally my mind is a factory, churning out ideas, images, structures. It's amazingly complex. I cant wait to get some rest.

I'm glad to say I inspired 40 people at least. Today was very great. In caliber, connection, and degrees of love. I flow so rocky, even hell cannot stop me. Pull up to the club and get it poppin I ain't stopping. Yeah I see it, the usually behavior head bopping. Jaw dropping at the sight of this hob-goblin. I'm spitting placid acid and the homies stay silent, they dwell in the shadows, they lurk in the silence.
But I dont judge, I just wanted to mention his name.. I revel in beauty, and rupture in pain

A Special Love

Dark, as the charcoal night
Empty, like a pipes chamber
The splendor of the living one
Hovering above this earthly fog
Beauty unequivocal.

Here lies the bearing heart
The spring of the faithful
The secret well of my solitude
When I drink, I am quenched
When I drink, my soul is redeemed

Lord jesus thank you
For your rights of passage
In this young disciple
Who would bear hellfire
And damnnation
To elevate your kingdom

- Matthew

Ya ya, ya ya

I paint a picture with my wordplay You having the worst day Probably cause your grown up Yeah I know lifes rough Ridgid round the edges Maybe you should sew things You know.. stitch up old hems Fixing up the old things Paint a perfect portrait with the pendant and the pencil It's not a utencil it's the love I'm finna send you Reality will bend you, better flex and get in shape Right? Watch who you befriending became victim to the hate Might Just skip the ending bounce beginnings with the middle Meddle with the colors cause I'm bringing forth the volume Idk where yall are at I think I'm finna ball soon Bout to learn to crawl soon from my lifes trials And span the day upon the day within my sun dial I'm wound up like a doll.. I said I'm finna ball So why would I show up, just to shudder and to stall? You people put on image what should best be left to birth right So when I go to forage I be protecting insite

One thing to understand..

Hey its me.. I've been doing through some growing pains and poetry has been a big part.. one thing to understand is this. Some of it is gonna be poor, some rich. Some is gonna be sloppy and unethicsl, others pure as snow. Bear with me, and yourself as well. I pray you find enjoyment and happiness here. That you can relate to my writings.

We are indeed a human family down here, and some interwoven appreciation goes a long way. Keep gunning for what's right and scatter your insight like seeds throughout the areas of your life. For the love of God be yourself. May light lead your path and turn your sorrows to joy in an instant.

I'm back in action, so much to come!

Love you lots,
Matthew

Roll n' Rupture

Finding sudden stalls to relate with existence
It's the sultry misfit meeting with the mellow mistress
Talking but I'm listening, bruised through the condition.. I've been marked for hit list
Post it up on pinterest
Tear down the connection
Reform the complexion
Wait but did I mention
Dont await the ending
Pleased for an instant
Leave while your livid
Photograph of polygraph
POETIC 4 EXISTENCE

How does one overcome such sadness?

Such grief is nothing new to me
Immersed in all my ponderings
I lay at home to rest my head
My weariness is second best

My color orange my victory blue
It's hard to know just what to do
I feel so manic and depressed
I feel I need to face the test

My written words, they even seek
For understanding and relief
The pen is strong (my medicine)
My perch is unintelligent

Good grief.. I feel like Charlie Brown
I want to go and paint the town
My love is so thick and wide
Its trapped in me so deep inside
I wish for vengeance! A heartless beast
But than I see what I mean..
I'm just a lonely man today
But soon the feeling fades away
Soon the waves will wash away
All the emptiness and grey
And than I'll meet my brazen love
Such beauty will become of us!!

She's such a dime, and polished too
She's probably hiding in Puru
Immersed in such a simple prayer
I want to comb her dreaded hair
I want to show her something new
Grow a garden lush with fruit
I want.to live.within a palace
And wear the threads of sultan's fabrics

Ah but this will be the day
That all my sadness pass away
I'll transfer from a cloud or kiss
And ring out past the sunken ship
....

Lover of the Light

Like a moth I am
A lover of the nocturnal night
A voyager to valleys bright
A ravishing beauty is my delight

I journey through-out the elements
The thick and beneficial
With carefully selected colors
I paint using my easel

Sometimes I trust the weasel
Sometimes I search in people
During the Hard times
Poke and prod perchance
For pins and needles

Yes it is so intimate
So wondrous to see
A lover of the light
That delights in light like me

Dad

Lots on my mind, so can I recline?

I don't mean to whine or to spoil the time

I'm just a bit bruised by the things that you prove

Walking around as though nothing is true

Wearing a crown as if nothing is loose

When I enter the field I'll be lacing my boots

Can I rest my eyes? for the way is long

And the ground is firm, which I walk upon

Theres a sudden song, and a patient poem

It's alright with me, surely I'll be going

Surely I'll move on, surely you will too

Sorry it took so long, lord will see me through

It's a common tale, told again again

Brought into awareness by the passing wind