Facing Oneself Consciously Contantly

What does it mean to face oneself? What does it feel like and how do you know when you are doing it? How will the results show up? Facing yourself, confronting yourself, knowing yourself all start on the same line. That line is a moment of recognizing where you are, what you are doing, just taking a moment. Our mind can exist in different states it can be foggy, apprehensive, full of worry and uncertainty but.. it can also exist without these things. How can one achieve the difference, what mountain must be moved? I find that it takes a willingness, an effort, a redirection, and a minimal sense of feeling. Some people go through the vast majority of thier lives without taking a moment to recognize whats happening in the present moment. Others are scared at what they might see thus turn a blind eye to anything they are unfamiliar with. We can become full of panic when we drop into this moment, we may come across things that have dwelt in us for long periods, emotions especially.

Try this simple practice, bring your alert attention into the moment,take a moment to recognize your surroundings, there is no hurry, we are coming to the moment where there is nothing to get done, just watch. how does your skin feel? is it dry? acknowlege your senses and the colors of things around you, is thier noise in this moment? peripherally? mentally? what is it that is watching it all?

These questions mixed with alertness will be like fuel for your dive deep into the moment. It can become uncertain and scary, yet so exciting to find out what it's all about!! These attempts to penetrate the moment take you from point A to point A, you will arrive in the same moment as when you became alert to your surroundings, alert to that what is taking your mind away from the moment. Yet something will have changed in that small time of alertness. Their is intent in this, intent that acts like a flame, now you are starting with damp grass, and damp grass takes time just to dry! have patients friend. To sincerely ask yourself, to feel with the energy available to you, and strive to feel what this moment contains, is the high temperature of intensity that is needed to dry that grass. Again and again you come back with increased strength, additional strength, exponential strength! I stress the alert attention into the moment. There are things you may arise in the moment that are terrifying to bring that attention into, fear anger jealousy etc etc. Yet when you look deeply at these phenomena, just attentively like a student on the first day of school, just alert and ready to absorb, than... well try it and find out. Start small! with the senses, for example try to feel your hand, you may start to notice sensations that you haven't felt in years.

Deeply, remember this, all their is is this moment, this precious second, tomorrow is my creation, yesterday is a memory. If you are uncomfortable than you are about to get a taste of your own strength. It has been so long since feeling something authentic within.

When you make this simple conscious choice, to return your attention into the moment to feel what already exists, we find we invest our energy in the future in what we feel should exist. The present moment holds a different quality, an unspeakable quality, the quality of peace, of insight, of quality! No need to look for them they come to you, you don't have to search for these things, by yielding to the moment they will start flowing towards you, all in good time. Now another question.. what is going on for you now? Are you still aware of that hand I had asked you about? Have you kept track of changes in your body since last time we spoke? What is taking place in this moment? Rather than expecting, instead you await...
Rather than hoping to come to something, let something come to you...
Receive what this moment has to offer, you can only do this when you bring your attention into the moment, and yield to it's circumstance. It really is a simple practice, allow yourself to have fun as well, it is not something to enforce on you, instead use as a sweetner, to bring an aliveness back into the moment, back into your body and mind, to bring your moment to life!

Early WORKS!! Cuz Earley WORKS!!

Here are some of my first written works, junior year, feelings of boredom in Math & English class. The rapper within is born.. I really like these earlier pieces and smiled upon reading them. Cheers mate!

Okay this first one was actually written my senior year..

I see nothing but potential when I write these words with pencil

Little do they know how to lace lyrics instrumental

Like spirit wraps with melody you feel it in this scripture

Construct my flow & bit by bit I get the bigger picture

Throw it in the mixer and it's still something you like

A bite of truth so let it loose & fill your appetite

The rising moon majestic sun, the rich king and the humble one

All collect in tiny specks to bridge the gifts thats spoken

Lie down and come unfrozen. Lay drop unto the ocean

Early WORKS!!!!

My flows are automatic, they jump up from the page because they're infused with static
Don't give a dang nabit!
Who writes the flows when there's math to be studied?
The ones that aint plastic, me and my buddies.
Your whole life to this point has only had one focal
To get you out your atmosphere imma space choke you :D
Cast spells to provoke you
Take the screen out your mind just like the dope do..

The underlying voice of reason concrete beneath my feet cease the release!
What do you do in your free time? Write rhymes line for line?
I hope so. Lets pool it all together and create a dope flow
Length earths diameter times 4
Bitches, the real, stacks of cash,the human figure, stock market crash
Ill write until my hands distort and crack, scream until my voice becomes the past.

Flow so smooth would've thought boy was lubed
Y'all a bunch of boobs getting info from the tube!
Crystal Clear thoughts through my wired up brain
Labels group a bunch of lames trying to reach power & fame
Fool there aint nothing to gain! jesus already came! so if your searching for salvation,
your soul getting maimed, money been gone, truth been dead, we traded out humanity for
gunpowder & lead so instead of standing up, Everybody sit down!
Let powers that be, toss you around
Half of us are dead and the other half dazed, I'm sinking into dark leaving light to sun rays.

Fire Flowetry

Can we look?
Can we look and see.. Just see.
Without distinction or comparison
Without addition or subtraction
Without being fooled by sensation
Can we maintain this sight until all is seen?
We are bound by each other bound by ourselves, bound by our expectations..
I say let the floodgates open, let the clouds move in, rain cascade and lightning cover the sky. Allowing tornadoes of mind destroy everything in sight. Burn your black carbon and grow your soul I say! Screech your tires until you ride on rim, the rim to axle and axle to dust. Of what in this world is worth to hold knowing their seeds of disappointment, anguish, despair and depression. You can fill your house with goods and decorate your doorway but these things leave you broken and sore in anticipation of others.
Kind words turn my tongue into ash and my heart to paper. I cannot bear this hypocrisy, brutality, desperate wanting. These hungry eyes that consume everything without sight! My never ending struggle continues agianst the continuous line of ignorance. My own, the collective. With fields of feeling and seas of sensitivity, I step into an empty dust bowl. Will my seeds ever grow? Or just blow endlessly in the winds of indifference..

Picture: Gary Rosenberg http://grosenberg.wordpress.com/

Back to the drawing block

Words cannot describe what I feel, words are just to much burden this is so light. There is a light on my forehead and buzzing me into transparency. Yet I remain in control of my body and my typings yet I don't want a single thing but to feel how I feel now. Silent mind, silent heart. The floodgates open. Its so light that it surpasses poetry, it is invisible. I always tried to share this feeling, these feelings.. and slowly I gave up except in moments. The mind is not interested and the heart is not hardly interested. what it needs is a moment to taste the sweet elixer of mental stillness. What.. may I ask, happens when you are not there to ask. haha. Blazing flame that will knock your socks off! And even though the words make no sense, they serve their purpose alright?

Nature's Peace

Ahh the peace that comes with patient relation with nature is impeccable. To sit by the tree and acknowledge its bark, the bugs on the ground, or in the cold winter, the frozen wellspring beneath the earths icy shell. These small things bring you so much peace, peace used to end the minds chatter and to be spent in resonation with Earth.

The Earth is alive and sensitive, very intelligent. It embraces us tenderly when we will to spend our time with it. Our bodies know earth from the physical, our organs are fed through what Earth produces. When our mind quiets.. feels.. it is enhanced by the earths sensitivity. Our heart delights in the color and splendor of a landscape, and our spirit is seen in it's vastness.
Have you starred at a flower, thoughtless? A purple skyline or an orange autumn tree?
To just watch and be aware of nature allows our blocks and cramps and stresses to dent, crack, and slip slide away.....
Feeling Stressed, worried, or anxious? Having a bad day or trouble in a relationship? Take a walk or run, breath deeply, and acknowledge your surroundings. This will bring so much peace to your mind. You'll find it hard to believe how accessible the dimension of peace becomes while dwelling in nature. A true miracle.

By the way. Minnesota in Autumn is sooo beautiful, right now the transition is being made.

I Document My Poetry

Another piece about the simple thing that gives a man so much trouble.. *sob*.

Mother of mercy
Like a dripping honeycomb
So you fill my heart with virtue
Chrysanthemum in the field
Blooming each season, yielding to each
My subtle dandelion
Who laughs me to tears, choking my words
Till all is unwritten
Standing on the verge of the moment
Isn't it strange to see your eyes become mine?

Bill Gates

This rhyme rings success, for my friendship and I
We emanate and serve tasty rhymes no discriminate
I'm the shy type, but I've got my mind right
Mad skills just exposing a portion, playing the role of an orphan
My friend has the spirit, it's in him the crowd trusts
He sets em up and then gets them crushed
It may look like I play the crutch
But look a little closer to see I'm holding him up
I'm the reason he shines, though they don't pay me much mind
When I speak It sounds to be a door that is rusted
They stand and feint away, it leaves me surprised
Cause to me my words look like something to listen to
They bring meaning to my life and come from that meaning
Is the crowd not well meaning? It's the story of my life
It's the story of type, does my nonacceptance have me paying the price?
I'm too busy thinking, lets get back to the show, drop a bar just to let them know
I'm still alive! more than ever! My friend rises on my downfall, or so it seems.