Flux fingers. Everthing is in such a turmoil of change for me. Sometimes in night the realization is os intense and both feet bask in the sun. Now I don't know, waking up I'm staring at the face of pieces broken. Within is something so mighty it sews the planet to space. I can't comprehend even a fraction of it. I just understand that each day more and more I see myself in things, there is this incredible vibration that trumps matter making it look shaky and distant.
What worries me often is the large gap in the concsiousness of myself and other people. For me if peace is to be it will be instantaneous, arising out of my own totallity, my own consciousness. For others it seems a sequence or series of events is needed, a sense of accomplishment. These are fragments, however that which is real slips my own comprehension. It can only be gaulked at and half explained, really it is much more than words can describe. Many great teachers understand and speak to inact the conscience of the listener, and guide him through a series of feelings and mental process in order to come to a clear gap, a steep cliff, in which to finally jump out into the unknown.
But this realization today has me feeling average, this waking up day in and out has me untied from ambition. I feel normal, I feel unamused, I feel without motive. What significance do my actions have? What have they ever had? What is important? Why am I here?
Do these questions find completion in every day living or I'm a segmented in action and completion?
Experimentation seems to be an option to go by, go out and live in these ways, joint these unattached portions with seeing/labeling/perception. Grow from these questions in the right way. I can feel so stuck in the mud with past knowledge caked to my grin. I can waver for an hour and a half without so much a consequence , it's time to spring into buisness. It's time to live no matter how unbearable it may be. Ask who you concern when you act, is it born from self love, or is it born from arrogance, vanity?
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