I wish I could give you this light cause its so bright. It takes away uncertainty and makes it alright. It beams from my jeans and up and in between. There is a way to be saved and it lies in getting creamed. Nah mean? The skintight slap happy superficial, is just something operating for a fistful, of dollars. I'm no scholar though I spend my time in self. And I'm no caller at the times I'm needing help. Yet I'm reading from this felt this fly high fine fabric. Contemplate the words that I give is it magic? No it's manic? A heavy pendulum with awkward swing. Making me as ethereal as high pitched vocalists sing. It's not the red bulls giving wings though my heart is in the skies. I relieved myself from skin now I'm wondering why.
They asked me...
Is it a different man that sits upon your stoop, does he trail a brighter day, does he laugh and let it loose?
They asked me...
Would you be willing, with a wonderful tone to tell me if what your expelling is a present of bones. Is it taken from tombs? A melody from the past? Is it temporary fading while your craving to last? Is it gray is it black, can it help me relax? Can i fix it up and mix it with some grass from my stash?
I said ..
Hold up! this essence... is not a thing nor a phrase, in the poetry and song I cannot claim it's contained. I told them look at the sun, do you see how it shines. Can you point out any traces that its rays leave behind? What does it promise to you? It comes and leaves after nine. What does it threaten from you? it lends its seconds of time. Just reflect on this now, and without motive you'll know. That I am just a spec of what your life wants to show. That I am just an artifact, a fool with a mouth. But beyond attempts to label and to figure it out. There is a force that is there, like an empty cocoon. And perhaps it is a trap to lead you back to the womb. A spindle and a thread weaving the fabric of doom.
And I left from the shade, this shade where everyone sat, and in the past I would have walked and thought of talks aftermath. But through decades of time and conversations with few. This understanding that I spoke of evaporated like dew. And I was left to myself for eons after the next and i peered at the sun and like a mirrors reflect, it was so plain in my mind that nothings left to be seen. Like a flicker of flame, instants awake in the dream.
The most maddest of lines, the most hectic of lives, the most ambient glow, the most interesting show, or melodic note. Lets leave it alone for there is love in a box where I beat myself up with a sock full of rocks.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The Champion
Perhaps it will go unrecognized, and everything will fade. But let it be known the impossible was done. That someone came and did the absolutely unthinkable. Someone came into this world of absolutes, and broke each one single handedly. Someone sailed the forsaken seas, and crossed into the unknowable ocean far past the edge of the earth. Facing the unbearable, smiling at death and embracing it. Sacrificing skin and bones!
In this world of shadows, of unending dispair, blood thirst and death, a warrior found life, the burning sun and brilliant oceans!!! Through complete abandonment, eyes set on the very hell, he tore through its barriers and penetrated them with loving mercy. He is the champion indeed!!
He may be praised, he may be persecuted, but he will not be triumphed, conquered, for there is no space he is afraid to go, there is no hell he has not seen, there is nothing that he has not already lost.. so he wins. By owning nothing he gains everything, nothing can please him, nothing can destroy him, nothing can affect him, that which will happen will be done. And it is good.. it is right this way.. it is beautiful beyond any comprehension.
In this world of shadows, of unending dispair, blood thirst and death, a warrior found life, the burning sun and brilliant oceans!!! Through complete abandonment, eyes set on the very hell, he tore through its barriers and penetrated them with loving mercy. He is the champion indeed!!
He may be praised, he may be persecuted, but he will not be triumphed, conquered, for there is no space he is afraid to go, there is no hell he has not seen, there is nothing that he has not already lost.. so he wins. By owning nothing he gains everything, nothing can please him, nothing can destroy him, nothing can affect him, that which will happen will be done. And it is good.. it is right this way.. it is beautiful beyond any comprehension.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Unsure Imbalanced
Hard times teetering on thin lines. The stop signs the only signal I don't obey, but they don't dismay. Tough minded soldier minding his preach. In the seat and thinking things out of time place self totally melt(ed). Sheerly crazy utterly twisted thin lines and even the flow leaves me. Receding back into time all alone now.. well maybe just denying myself the justice of something. I look fine on the outside and that keeps me centered. I am dying here not being watered by my surroundings. So infinitely meaningless so empty so void of confidence. This space is truly a physic hell and the worst part is that it does not come off as a space, but as eternal. It will define my character. The charlatan and the singer. It's crazy but any order seems to me to serve as a greater downfall and confining space. Any decision i make may be my last as I am cut in and insized, boiled alive and served back to my self destruction.
Just need to relax now, hold myself together. Be easy and feel through, hard times, but easy breathing. Visions of a state so dreadful and panicked. Do you know what that is like, do you know what the other feels like?
Just need to relax now, hold myself together. Be easy and feel through, hard times, but easy breathing. Visions of a state so dreadful and panicked. Do you know what that is like, do you know what the other feels like?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Far Out
Thy will be done father. I seal my lips with thine name. The deliverance of your flesh was for transmutation alone. Bear me what you will, throw an obstacle on top I sit unmoving..
I dwell above you, within you, beside you I sit.
A stance and posture of seriousness. What pagan can deny your lips contour? The weight of my woes are pennies in the pouches of well fed men. It seems as though you are here to fool me but how can I question when a glance towards thine throne, like the sun blinds my eyes. A word cast towards you collapses like a young bird attempting flight. A moment with you wipes clean my slate. Of knowledge, insight, deep wisdom of Sanskrit & my own lives spectrum.
I travel lightly so that I may catch the tail end of your brilliance. I hasten my pace to spot your old footsteps, before.. before they are covered by my own woes.
Oh I am nothing but a fool, cruel and cold of heart without you.
So a beggar will beg, an assassin will kill, and an owl swoon at the sight of the moon. A traveler will arrive and have his song sung but! What is it to Me??!?
My sovereign father, most intimate of all life, you come to their door and they wipe their feet upon you my father. . .
seems to be lacking something.. have to fill in the intervals
I dwell above you, within you, beside you I sit.
A stance and posture of seriousness. What pagan can deny your lips contour? The weight of my woes are pennies in the pouches of well fed men. It seems as though you are here to fool me but how can I question when a glance towards thine throne, like the sun blinds my eyes. A word cast towards you collapses like a young bird attempting flight. A moment with you wipes clean my slate. Of knowledge, insight, deep wisdom of Sanskrit & my own lives spectrum.
I travel lightly so that I may catch the tail end of your brilliance. I hasten my pace to spot your old footsteps, before.. before they are covered by my own woes.
Oh I am nothing but a fool, cruel and cold of heart without you.
So a beggar will beg, an assassin will kill, and an owl swoon at the sight of the moon. A traveler will arrive and have his song sung but! What is it to Me??!?
My sovereign father, most intimate of all life, you come to their door and they wipe their feet upon you my father. . .
seems to be lacking something.. have to fill in the intervals
Hey some writings for ya!
These are just some spontaneous words that came after resonating with my guitar. I'm no professional writer jeez don't even think it. Tap in and Tune out right? Here we gooo...
I speak to my different selves.
The one inspired by music cast shadows of on the others
Each is part of the divine play. O mercy me.
The woe & grief of heart
ecstasy of longing
Tears tear heart fabric & are released with the ink of the pen
A sensational beauty mute in expression
Senses mute
Forlorned for ages, for what reliance can a man place on a poet?
Can he lay out his chips on the merit of heart, or pushed aside longings?
Against the stacked reason of mind.
Yet! that stack tumbles, crashes, burns!!
In a sorrowful agony!
My deeds are my life, my wants are it's breath
It's movements flawed but necessary
For this time my grip will be stone, to squeeze out all the juices,
to have them fall upon the unwashed floor
The dirty tablet stepped on since times birth
Vile thing willing to veer it's head in remembrance, be gone!
Be consumed by greedy longing!
Collapse under worldly pressure!
Crack at my sight!
Seat that to oblivion & let oblivion fade
For it, it has nothing to do with I
Forever more I do believe
It is nothing at all, a quiet mouse set to scare
I speak to my different selves.
The one inspired by music cast shadows of on the others
Each is part of the divine play. O mercy me.
The woe & grief of heart
ecstasy of longing
Tears tear heart fabric & are released with the ink of the pen
A sensational beauty mute in expression
Senses mute
Forlorned for ages, for what reliance can a man place on a poet?
Can he lay out his chips on the merit of heart, or pushed aside longings?
Against the stacked reason of mind.
Yet! that stack tumbles, crashes, burns!!
In a sorrowful agony!
My deeds are my life, my wants are it's breath
It's movements flawed but necessary
For this time my grip will be stone, to squeeze out all the juices,
to have them fall upon the unwashed floor
The dirty tablet stepped on since times birth
Vile thing willing to veer it's head in remembrance, be gone!
Be consumed by greedy longing!
Collapse under worldly pressure!
Crack at my sight!
Seat that to oblivion & let oblivion fade
For it, it has nothing to do with I
Forever more I do believe
It is nothing at all, a quiet mouse set to scare
Monday, October 4, 2010
Some Writings
We are gods crying out our deep loneliness of our creator
Creation has not a single friend, a single member of company, it exists in a space that pulsates sorrow, a loneliness, perhaps it's bright burning joy is a tease, a sort of tear that cools as it runs down his face. An escaping sigh meeting with the human heart.
Perhaps, it could be different, perhaps we need to be cool tranquil beings that it makes us into. This rowdy celebration cannot continue forever can it? Yet I wonder if it's worthwhile, if a difference is made on attempts to make this world a better place, attempts to cover pains of the universal creator with words and paintings. It's hard to determine. And this space that I dwelt before I was birthed I am also accustomed to. I remember it in the seed of my mind. And remember it's feeling and frequency. With the light of understanding, I do believe we can grow into the things our creator desires and reduce the sorrow there of. Sometimes it seems so vain. These empty seas are a god awful tourist attractions that turn into a lifetime stay.
For we are like seeds, entrenched by layers and layers of soil . It is only when we water ourselves that we begin to sprout, and from there feel the true pressure that is weighing down on our growth. We have bloomed many times, and many times died in the process. Many times we have lost something of value attempting to reach to the surface, the other shore, a place where the sun shines the right temperature, and the water keeps us cool.
Can we ever reach? Perhaps over many blossoms, attainments, recognitions by the human eyes, we find a spot to let go. Perhaps as our roots grow deeper and deeper, stem lengthens and grows thick, leaves blossom and fall off, helps us to realize we were never the flower. Nor the roots, that showed us a integrity, a stability, beneath the ground and unknown to eyesight. The pedals we are not either although over time they grew more lasting beautiful and sustainable.
We are that, that watches the earth and all of it's manifestations. That peers from an invisible eye, in an invisible space, more transparent than a clear window. That which longs will remain in longing for it is too far away to ever touch a single one of it's creations. It is too distant to measure. It is more deep than depth and more subtle than empty space. The purest expression. Perpetual and brilliant, exclusively alone. The silence of our creator will never be disturbed. Not by this man, not by anyone.
Creation has not a single friend, a single member of company, it exists in a space that pulsates sorrow, a loneliness, perhaps it's bright burning joy is a tease, a sort of tear that cools as it runs down his face. An escaping sigh meeting with the human heart.
Perhaps, it could be different, perhaps we need to be cool tranquil beings that it makes us into. This rowdy celebration cannot continue forever can it? Yet I wonder if it's worthwhile, if a difference is made on attempts to make this world a better place, attempts to cover pains of the universal creator with words and paintings. It's hard to determine. And this space that I dwelt before I was birthed I am also accustomed to. I remember it in the seed of my mind. And remember it's feeling and frequency. With the light of understanding, I do believe we can grow into the things our creator desires and reduce the sorrow there of. Sometimes it seems so vain. These empty seas are a god awful tourist attractions that turn into a lifetime stay.
For we are like seeds, entrenched by layers and layers of soil . It is only when we water ourselves that we begin to sprout, and from there feel the true pressure that is weighing down on our growth. We have bloomed many times, and many times died in the process. Many times we have lost something of value attempting to reach to the surface, the other shore, a place where the sun shines the right temperature, and the water keeps us cool.
Can we ever reach? Perhaps over many blossoms, attainments, recognitions by the human eyes, we find a spot to let go. Perhaps as our roots grow deeper and deeper, stem lengthens and grows thick, leaves blossom and fall off, helps us to realize we were never the flower. Nor the roots, that showed us a integrity, a stability, beneath the ground and unknown to eyesight. The pedals we are not either although over time they grew more lasting beautiful and sustainable.
We are that, that watches the earth and all of it's manifestations. That peers from an invisible eye, in an invisible space, more transparent than a clear window. That which longs will remain in longing for it is too far away to ever touch a single one of it's creations. It is too distant to measure. It is more deep than depth and more subtle than empty space. The purest expression. Perpetual and brilliant, exclusively alone. The silence of our creator will never be disturbed. Not by this man, not by anyone.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Facing Oneself Consciously Contantly
What does it mean to face oneself? What does it feel like and how do you know when you are doing it? How will the results show up? Facing yourself, confronting yourself, knowing yourself all start on the same line. That line is a moment of recognizing where you are, what you are doing, just taking a moment. Our mind can exist in different states it can be foggy, apprehensive, full of worry and uncertainty but.. it can also exist without these things. How can one achieve the difference, what mountain must be moved? I find that it takes a willingness, an effort, a redirection, and a minimal sense of feeling. Some people go through the vast majority of thier lives without taking a moment to recognize whats happening in the present moment. Others are scared at what they might see thus turn a blind eye to anything they are unfamiliar with. We can become full of panic when we drop into this moment, we may come across things that have dwelt in us for long periods, emotions especially.
Try this simple practice, bring your alert attention into the moment,take a moment to recognize your surroundings, there is no hurry, we are coming to the moment where there is nothing to get done, just watch. how does your skin feel? is it dry? acknowlege your senses and the colors of things around you, is thier noise in this moment? peripherally? mentally? what is it that is watching it all?
These questions mixed with alertness will be like fuel for your dive deep into the moment. It can become uncertain and scary, yet so exciting to find out what it's all about!! These attempts to penetrate the moment take you from point A to point A, you will arrive in the same moment as when you became alert to your surroundings, alert to that what is taking your mind away from the moment. Yet something will have changed in that small time of alertness. Their is intent in this, intent that acts like a flame, now you are starting with damp grass, and damp grass takes time just to dry! have patients friend. To sincerely ask yourself, to feel with the energy available to you, and strive to feel what this moment contains, is the high temperature of intensity that is needed to dry that grass. Again and again you come back with increased strength, additional strength, exponential strength! I stress the alert attention into the moment. There are things you may arise in the moment that are terrifying to bring that attention into, fear anger jealousy etc etc. Yet when you look deeply at these phenomena, just attentively like a student on the first day of school, just alert and ready to absorb, than... well try it and find out. Start small! with the senses, for example try to feel your hand, you may start to notice sensations that you haven't felt in years.
Deeply, remember this, all their is is this moment, this precious second, tomorrow is my creation, yesterday is a memory. If you are uncomfortable than you are about to get a taste of your own strength. It has been so long since feeling something authentic within.
When you make this simple conscious choice, to return your attention into the moment to feel what already exists, we find we invest our energy in the future in what we feel should exist. The present moment holds a different quality, an unspeakable quality, the quality of peace, of insight, of quality! No need to look for them they come to you, you don't have to search for these things, by yielding to the moment they will start flowing towards you, all in good time. Now another question.. what is going on for you now? Are you still aware of that hand I had asked you about? Have you kept track of changes in your body since last time we spoke? What is taking place in this moment? Rather than expecting, instead you await...
Rather than hoping to come to something, let something come to you...
Receive what this moment has to offer, you can only do this when you bring your attention into the moment, and yield to it's circumstance. It really is a simple practice, allow yourself to have fun as well, it is not something to enforce on you, instead use as a sweetner, to bring an aliveness back into the moment, back into your body and mind, to bring your moment to life!
Try this simple practice, bring your alert attention into the moment,take a moment to recognize your surroundings, there is no hurry, we are coming to the moment where there is nothing to get done, just watch. how does your skin feel? is it dry? acknowlege your senses and the colors of things around you, is thier noise in this moment? peripherally? mentally? what is it that is watching it all?
These questions mixed with alertness will be like fuel for your dive deep into the moment. It can become uncertain and scary, yet so exciting to find out what it's all about!! These attempts to penetrate the moment take you from point A to point A, you will arrive in the same moment as when you became alert to your surroundings, alert to that what is taking your mind away from the moment. Yet something will have changed in that small time of alertness. Their is intent in this, intent that acts like a flame, now you are starting with damp grass, and damp grass takes time just to dry! have patients friend. To sincerely ask yourself, to feel with the energy available to you, and strive to feel what this moment contains, is the high temperature of intensity that is needed to dry that grass. Again and again you come back with increased strength, additional strength, exponential strength! I stress the alert attention into the moment. There are things you may arise in the moment that are terrifying to bring that attention into, fear anger jealousy etc etc. Yet when you look deeply at these phenomena, just attentively like a student on the first day of school, just alert and ready to absorb, than... well try it and find out. Start small! with the senses, for example try to feel your hand, you may start to notice sensations that you haven't felt in years.
Deeply, remember this, all their is is this moment, this precious second, tomorrow is my creation, yesterday is a memory. If you are uncomfortable than you are about to get a taste of your own strength. It has been so long since feeling something authentic within.
When you make this simple conscious choice, to return your attention into the moment to feel what already exists, we find we invest our energy in the future in what we feel should exist. The present moment holds a different quality, an unspeakable quality, the quality of peace, of insight, of quality! No need to look for them they come to you, you don't have to search for these things, by yielding to the moment they will start flowing towards you, all in good time. Now another question.. what is going on for you now? Are you still aware of that hand I had asked you about? Have you kept track of changes in your body since last time we spoke? What is taking place in this moment? Rather than expecting, instead you await...
Rather than hoping to come to something, let something come to you...
Receive what this moment has to offer, you can only do this when you bring your attention into the moment, and yield to it's circumstance. It really is a simple practice, allow yourself to have fun as well, it is not something to enforce on you, instead use as a sweetner, to bring an aliveness back into the moment, back into your body and mind, to bring your moment to life!
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