Hard times teetering on thin lines. The stop signs the only signal I don't obey, but they don't dismay. Tough minded soldier minding his preach. In the seat and thinking things out of time place self totally melt(ed). Sheerly crazy utterly twisted thin lines and even the flow leaves me. Receding back into time all alone now.. well maybe just denying myself the justice of something. I look fine on the outside and that keeps me centered. I am dying here not being watered by my surroundings. So infinitely meaningless so empty so void of confidence. This space is truly a physic hell and the worst part is that it does not come off as a space, but as eternal. It will define my character. The charlatan and the singer. It's crazy but any order seems to me to serve as a greater downfall and confining space. Any decision i make may be my last as I am cut in and insized, boiled alive and served back to my self destruction.
Just need to relax now, hold myself together. Be easy and feel through, hard times, but easy breathing. Visions of a state so dreadful and panicked. Do you know what that is like, do you know what the other feels like?
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Far Out
Thy will be done father. I seal my lips with thine name. The deliverance of your flesh was for transmutation alone. Bear me what you will, throw an obstacle on top I sit unmoving..
I dwell above you, within you, beside you I sit.
A stance and posture of seriousness. What pagan can deny your lips contour? The weight of my woes are pennies in the pouches of well fed men. It seems as though you are here to fool me but how can I question when a glance towards thine throne, like the sun blinds my eyes. A word cast towards you collapses like a young bird attempting flight. A moment with you wipes clean my slate. Of knowledge, insight, deep wisdom of Sanskrit & my own lives spectrum.
I travel lightly so that I may catch the tail end of your brilliance. I hasten my pace to spot your old footsteps, before.. before they are covered by my own woes.
Oh I am nothing but a fool, cruel and cold of heart without you.
So a beggar will beg, an assassin will kill, and an owl swoon at the sight of the moon. A traveler will arrive and have his song sung but! What is it to Me??!?
My sovereign father, most intimate of all life, you come to their door and they wipe their feet upon you my father. . .
seems to be lacking something.. have to fill in the intervals
I dwell above you, within you, beside you I sit.
A stance and posture of seriousness. What pagan can deny your lips contour? The weight of my woes are pennies in the pouches of well fed men. It seems as though you are here to fool me but how can I question when a glance towards thine throne, like the sun blinds my eyes. A word cast towards you collapses like a young bird attempting flight. A moment with you wipes clean my slate. Of knowledge, insight, deep wisdom of Sanskrit & my own lives spectrum.
I travel lightly so that I may catch the tail end of your brilliance. I hasten my pace to spot your old footsteps, before.. before they are covered by my own woes.
Oh I am nothing but a fool, cruel and cold of heart without you.
So a beggar will beg, an assassin will kill, and an owl swoon at the sight of the moon. A traveler will arrive and have his song sung but! What is it to Me??!?
My sovereign father, most intimate of all life, you come to their door and they wipe their feet upon you my father. . .
seems to be lacking something.. have to fill in the intervals
Hey some writings for ya!
These are just some spontaneous words that came after resonating with my guitar. I'm no professional writer jeez don't even think it. Tap in and Tune out right? Here we gooo...
I speak to my different selves.
The one inspired by music cast shadows of on the others
Each is part of the divine play. O mercy me.
The woe & grief of heart
ecstasy of longing
Tears tear heart fabric & are released with the ink of the pen
A sensational beauty mute in expression
Senses mute
Forlorned for ages, for what reliance can a man place on a poet?
Can he lay out his chips on the merit of heart, or pushed aside longings?
Against the stacked reason of mind.
Yet! that stack tumbles, crashes, burns!!
In a sorrowful agony!
My deeds are my life, my wants are it's breath
It's movements flawed but necessary
For this time my grip will be stone, to squeeze out all the juices,
to have them fall upon the unwashed floor
The dirty tablet stepped on since times birth
Vile thing willing to veer it's head in remembrance, be gone!
Be consumed by greedy longing!
Collapse under worldly pressure!
Crack at my sight!
Seat that to oblivion & let oblivion fade
For it, it has nothing to do with I
Forever more I do believe
It is nothing at all, a quiet mouse set to scare
I speak to my different selves.
The one inspired by music cast shadows of on the others
Each is part of the divine play. O mercy me.
The woe & grief of heart
ecstasy of longing
Tears tear heart fabric & are released with the ink of the pen
A sensational beauty mute in expression
Senses mute
Forlorned for ages, for what reliance can a man place on a poet?
Can he lay out his chips on the merit of heart, or pushed aside longings?
Against the stacked reason of mind.
Yet! that stack tumbles, crashes, burns!!
In a sorrowful agony!
My deeds are my life, my wants are it's breath
It's movements flawed but necessary
For this time my grip will be stone, to squeeze out all the juices,
to have them fall upon the unwashed floor
The dirty tablet stepped on since times birth
Vile thing willing to veer it's head in remembrance, be gone!
Be consumed by greedy longing!
Collapse under worldly pressure!
Crack at my sight!
Seat that to oblivion & let oblivion fade
For it, it has nothing to do with I
Forever more I do believe
It is nothing at all, a quiet mouse set to scare
Monday, October 4, 2010
Some Writings
We are gods crying out our deep loneliness of our creator
Creation has not a single friend, a single member of company, it exists in a space that pulsates sorrow, a loneliness, perhaps it's bright burning joy is a tease, a sort of tear that cools as it runs down his face. An escaping sigh meeting with the human heart.
Perhaps, it could be different, perhaps we need to be cool tranquil beings that it makes us into. This rowdy celebration cannot continue forever can it? Yet I wonder if it's worthwhile, if a difference is made on attempts to make this world a better place, attempts to cover pains of the universal creator with words and paintings. It's hard to determine. And this space that I dwelt before I was birthed I am also accustomed to. I remember it in the seed of my mind. And remember it's feeling and frequency. With the light of understanding, I do believe we can grow into the things our creator desires and reduce the sorrow there of. Sometimes it seems so vain. These empty seas are a god awful tourist attractions that turn into a lifetime stay.
For we are like seeds, entrenched by layers and layers of soil . It is only when we water ourselves that we begin to sprout, and from there feel the true pressure that is weighing down on our growth. We have bloomed many times, and many times died in the process. Many times we have lost something of value attempting to reach to the surface, the other shore, a place where the sun shines the right temperature, and the water keeps us cool.
Can we ever reach? Perhaps over many blossoms, attainments, recognitions by the human eyes, we find a spot to let go. Perhaps as our roots grow deeper and deeper, stem lengthens and grows thick, leaves blossom and fall off, helps us to realize we were never the flower. Nor the roots, that showed us a integrity, a stability, beneath the ground and unknown to eyesight. The pedals we are not either although over time they grew more lasting beautiful and sustainable.
We are that, that watches the earth and all of it's manifestations. That peers from an invisible eye, in an invisible space, more transparent than a clear window. That which longs will remain in longing for it is too far away to ever touch a single one of it's creations. It is too distant to measure. It is more deep than depth and more subtle than empty space. The purest expression. Perpetual and brilliant, exclusively alone. The silence of our creator will never be disturbed. Not by this man, not by anyone.
Creation has not a single friend, a single member of company, it exists in a space that pulsates sorrow, a loneliness, perhaps it's bright burning joy is a tease, a sort of tear that cools as it runs down his face. An escaping sigh meeting with the human heart.
Perhaps, it could be different, perhaps we need to be cool tranquil beings that it makes us into. This rowdy celebration cannot continue forever can it? Yet I wonder if it's worthwhile, if a difference is made on attempts to make this world a better place, attempts to cover pains of the universal creator with words and paintings. It's hard to determine. And this space that I dwelt before I was birthed I am also accustomed to. I remember it in the seed of my mind. And remember it's feeling and frequency. With the light of understanding, I do believe we can grow into the things our creator desires and reduce the sorrow there of. Sometimes it seems so vain. These empty seas are a god awful tourist attractions that turn into a lifetime stay.
For we are like seeds, entrenched by layers and layers of soil . It is only when we water ourselves that we begin to sprout, and from there feel the true pressure that is weighing down on our growth. We have bloomed many times, and many times died in the process. Many times we have lost something of value attempting to reach to the surface, the other shore, a place where the sun shines the right temperature, and the water keeps us cool.
Can we ever reach? Perhaps over many blossoms, attainments, recognitions by the human eyes, we find a spot to let go. Perhaps as our roots grow deeper and deeper, stem lengthens and grows thick, leaves blossom and fall off, helps us to realize we were never the flower. Nor the roots, that showed us a integrity, a stability, beneath the ground and unknown to eyesight. The pedals we are not either although over time they grew more lasting beautiful and sustainable.
We are that, that watches the earth and all of it's manifestations. That peers from an invisible eye, in an invisible space, more transparent than a clear window. That which longs will remain in longing for it is too far away to ever touch a single one of it's creations. It is too distant to measure. It is more deep than depth and more subtle than empty space. The purest expression. Perpetual and brilliant, exclusively alone. The silence of our creator will never be disturbed. Not by this man, not by anyone.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Facing Oneself Consciously Contantly
What does it mean to face oneself? What does it feel like and how do you know when you are doing it? How will the results show up? Facing yourself, confronting yourself, knowing yourself all start on the same line. That line is a moment of recognizing where you are, what you are doing, just taking a moment. Our mind can exist in different states it can be foggy, apprehensive, full of worry and uncertainty but.. it can also exist without these things. How can one achieve the difference, what mountain must be moved? I find that it takes a willingness, an effort, a redirection, and a minimal sense of feeling. Some people go through the vast majority of thier lives without taking a moment to recognize whats happening in the present moment. Others are scared at what they might see thus turn a blind eye to anything they are unfamiliar with. We can become full of panic when we drop into this moment, we may come across things that have dwelt in us for long periods, emotions especially.
Try this simple practice, bring your alert attention into the moment,take a moment to recognize your surroundings, there is no hurry, we are coming to the moment where there is nothing to get done, just watch. how does your skin feel? is it dry? acknowlege your senses and the colors of things around you, is thier noise in this moment? peripherally? mentally? what is it that is watching it all?
These questions mixed with alertness will be like fuel for your dive deep into the moment. It can become uncertain and scary, yet so exciting to find out what it's all about!! These attempts to penetrate the moment take you from point A to point A, you will arrive in the same moment as when you became alert to your surroundings, alert to that what is taking your mind away from the moment. Yet something will have changed in that small time of alertness. Their is intent in this, intent that acts like a flame, now you are starting with damp grass, and damp grass takes time just to dry! have patients friend. To sincerely ask yourself, to feel with the energy available to you, and strive to feel what this moment contains, is the high temperature of intensity that is needed to dry that grass. Again and again you come back with increased strength, additional strength, exponential strength! I stress the alert attention into the moment. There are things you may arise in the moment that are terrifying to bring that attention into, fear anger jealousy etc etc. Yet when you look deeply at these phenomena, just attentively like a student on the first day of school, just alert and ready to absorb, than... well try it and find out. Start small! with the senses, for example try to feel your hand, you may start to notice sensations that you haven't felt in years.
Deeply, remember this, all their is is this moment, this precious second, tomorrow is my creation, yesterday is a memory. If you are uncomfortable than you are about to get a taste of your own strength. It has been so long since feeling something authentic within.
When you make this simple conscious choice, to return your attention into the moment to feel what already exists, we find we invest our energy in the future in what we feel should exist. The present moment holds a different quality, an unspeakable quality, the quality of peace, of insight, of quality! No need to look for them they come to you, you don't have to search for these things, by yielding to the moment they will start flowing towards you, all in good time. Now another question.. what is going on for you now? Are you still aware of that hand I had asked you about? Have you kept track of changes in your body since last time we spoke? What is taking place in this moment? Rather than expecting, instead you await...
Rather than hoping to come to something, let something come to you...
Receive what this moment has to offer, you can only do this when you bring your attention into the moment, and yield to it's circumstance. It really is a simple practice, allow yourself to have fun as well, it is not something to enforce on you, instead use as a sweetner, to bring an aliveness back into the moment, back into your body and mind, to bring your moment to life!
Try this simple practice, bring your alert attention into the moment,take a moment to recognize your surroundings, there is no hurry, we are coming to the moment where there is nothing to get done, just watch. how does your skin feel? is it dry? acknowlege your senses and the colors of things around you, is thier noise in this moment? peripherally? mentally? what is it that is watching it all?
These questions mixed with alertness will be like fuel for your dive deep into the moment. It can become uncertain and scary, yet so exciting to find out what it's all about!! These attempts to penetrate the moment take you from point A to point A, you will arrive in the same moment as when you became alert to your surroundings, alert to that what is taking your mind away from the moment. Yet something will have changed in that small time of alertness. Their is intent in this, intent that acts like a flame, now you are starting with damp grass, and damp grass takes time just to dry! have patients friend. To sincerely ask yourself, to feel with the energy available to you, and strive to feel what this moment contains, is the high temperature of intensity that is needed to dry that grass. Again and again you come back with increased strength, additional strength, exponential strength! I stress the alert attention into the moment. There are things you may arise in the moment that are terrifying to bring that attention into, fear anger jealousy etc etc. Yet when you look deeply at these phenomena, just attentively like a student on the first day of school, just alert and ready to absorb, than... well try it and find out. Start small! with the senses, for example try to feel your hand, you may start to notice sensations that you haven't felt in years.
Deeply, remember this, all their is is this moment, this precious second, tomorrow is my creation, yesterday is a memory. If you are uncomfortable than you are about to get a taste of your own strength. It has been so long since feeling something authentic within.
When you make this simple conscious choice, to return your attention into the moment to feel what already exists, we find we invest our energy in the future in what we feel should exist. The present moment holds a different quality, an unspeakable quality, the quality of peace, of insight, of quality! No need to look for them they come to you, you don't have to search for these things, by yielding to the moment they will start flowing towards you, all in good time. Now another question.. what is going on for you now? Are you still aware of that hand I had asked you about? Have you kept track of changes in your body since last time we spoke? What is taking place in this moment? Rather than expecting, instead you await...
Rather than hoping to come to something, let something come to you...
Receive what this moment has to offer, you can only do this when you bring your attention into the moment, and yield to it's circumstance. It really is a simple practice, allow yourself to have fun as well, it is not something to enforce on you, instead use as a sweetner, to bring an aliveness back into the moment, back into your body and mind, to bring your moment to life!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Early WORKS!! Cuz Earley WORKS!!
Here are some of my first written works, junior year, feelings of boredom in Math & English class. The rapper within is born.. I really like these earlier pieces and smiled upon reading them. Cheers mate!
Okay this first one was actually written my senior year..
I see nothing but potential when I write these words with pencil
Little do they know how to lace lyrics instrumental
Like spirit wraps with melody you feel it in this scripture
Construct my flow & bit by bit I get the bigger picture
Throw it in the mixer and it's still something you like
A bite of truth so let it loose & fill your appetite
The rising moon majestic sun, the rich king and the humble one
All collect in tiny specks to bridge the gifts thats spoken
Lie down and come unfrozen. Lay drop unto the ocean
Early WORKS!!!!
My flows are automatic, they jump up from the page because they're infused with static
Don't give a dang nabit!
Who writes the flows when there's math to be studied?
The ones that aint plastic, me and my buddies.
Your whole life to this point has only had one focal
To get you out your atmosphere imma space choke you :D
Cast spells to provoke you
Take the screen out your mind just like the dope do..
The underlying voice of reason concrete beneath my feet cease the release!
What do you do in your free time? Write rhymes line for line?
I hope so. Lets pool it all together and create a dope flow
Length earths diameter times 4
Bitches, the real, stacks of cash,the human figure, stock market crash
Ill write until my hands distort and crack, scream until my voice becomes the past.
Flow so smooth would've thought boy was lubed
Y'all a bunch of boobs getting info from the tube!
Crystal Clear thoughts through my wired up brain
Labels group a bunch of lames trying to reach power & fame
Fool there aint nothing to gain! jesus already came! so if your searching for salvation,
your soul getting maimed, money been gone, truth been dead, we traded out humanity for
gunpowder & lead so instead of standing up, Everybody sit down!
Let powers that be, toss you around
Half of us are dead and the other half dazed, I'm sinking into dark leaving light to sun rays.
Okay this first one was actually written my senior year..
I see nothing but potential when I write these words with pencil
Little do they know how to lace lyrics instrumental
Like spirit wraps with melody you feel it in this scripture
Construct my flow & bit by bit I get the bigger picture
Throw it in the mixer and it's still something you like
A bite of truth so let it loose & fill your appetite
The rising moon majestic sun, the rich king and the humble one
All collect in tiny specks to bridge the gifts thats spoken
Lie down and come unfrozen. Lay drop unto the ocean
Early WORKS!!!!
My flows are automatic, they jump up from the page because they're infused with static
Don't give a dang nabit!
Who writes the flows when there's math to be studied?
The ones that aint plastic, me and my buddies.
Your whole life to this point has only had one focal
To get you out your atmosphere imma space choke you :D
Cast spells to provoke you
Take the screen out your mind just like the dope do..
The underlying voice of reason concrete beneath my feet cease the release!
What do you do in your free time? Write rhymes line for line?
I hope so. Lets pool it all together and create a dope flow
Length earths diameter times 4
Bitches, the real, stacks of cash,the human figure, stock market crash
Ill write until my hands distort and crack, scream until my voice becomes the past.
Flow so smooth would've thought boy was lubed
Y'all a bunch of boobs getting info from the tube!
Crystal Clear thoughts through my wired up brain
Labels group a bunch of lames trying to reach power & fame
Fool there aint nothing to gain! jesus already came! so if your searching for salvation,
your soul getting maimed, money been gone, truth been dead, we traded out humanity for
gunpowder & lead so instead of standing up, Everybody sit down!
Let powers that be, toss you around
Half of us are dead and the other half dazed, I'm sinking into dark leaving light to sun rays.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Fire Flowetry
Can we look?
Can we look and see.. Just see.
Without distinction or comparison
Without addition or subtraction
Without being fooled by sensation
Can we maintain this sight until all is seen?
We are bound by each other bound by ourselves, bound by our expectations..
I say let the floodgates open, let the clouds move in, rain cascade and lightning cover the sky. Allowing tornadoes of mind destroy everything in sight. Burn your black carbon and grow your soul I say! Screech your tires until you ride on rim, the rim to axle and axle to dust. Of what in this world is worth to hold knowing their seeds of disappointment, anguish, despair and depression. You can fill your house with goods and decorate your doorway but these things leave you broken and sore in anticipation of others.
Kind words turn my tongue into ash and my heart to paper. I cannot bear this hypocrisy, brutality, desperate wanting. These hungry eyes that consume everything without sight! My never ending struggle continues agianst the continuous line of ignorance. My own, the collective. With fields of feeling and seas of sensitivity, I step into an empty dust bowl. Will my seeds ever grow? Or just blow endlessly in the winds of indifference..
Picture: Gary Rosenberg http://grosenberg.wordpress.com/
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